In life and death

How many weeks has it been since I last held a pencil in this hand? It is still strange to me to feel solid ground beneath my feet while being surrounded in scents, sensations and brightness. My world after my death was initially one of a wandering ghost, able to speak and be seen by a select few until I was whisked away to a dark and shimmering place, dancing about in time for what felt like forever.. nothing bothering me.. nothing weighing me down.

I do not know how long it was, but a sudden jolt to my senses sent me roaring back to a reality I had forgotten at the back of my mind. I felt like I could touch and feel the love of my life.. like I could see and smell her tears. My body felt foreign and weighty, something I wanted to shuck off..but when I saw Gwyn once more.. all the memories of the life i had and the death I had brought upon myself to protect what was mine came rushing at me in one fell swoop.

It was amazing to see Gwyn so enamored by blood and the violent yet giving touch of Ayden. The young boy whose body I now hold possession of most of the time. When I am unable to control the movements and will of the form, I fall into a light slumber within Ayden.. and oh is it such a beautiful place to sleep. Rivers of blood, gasps and screams of pain and pleasure from Gwyn and scenes of Fletchettes glistening in moonlight darkened by gore greet me in the inner most depths of his soul.. MY SOUL. I know that now. The I am he and he is me.

He is the dark desires I have within myself, come forth in a manifestation in which I can house my once lost soul.

I am so happy to be able to love Gwyn again.. and will do anything to please her. If I am to remain trapped in this boy's body.. it is not something so horrid when I truly think about it. I can still touch Gwyn, hold her in my arms and watch her sleep at night.. but the primal urges I have... now they are free at last. Maybe now I won't hurt her as often as I did.

I am stronger as well.. I have not told her this yet.. but I can use Twilight's Dusk just as well as Ayden can.. for he is me after all. no one will take Gwyn away from me ever again. No one will go after my father without paying the ultimate price.

dun dun dun!! Jakob and Gwynn really are Kat and Stefan in a healthier version. I like that he can use the new jewel Who;d have thought that Stefan would end up forming a tight little circle around himself? So would Jakob engage in blood play with Gwynn when he is aware? Or is that part of himself more muted since its manifesting through Ayden?

Seriously Stefan is like the ultimate bad ass and loved by so many people. >< I think he may try his hand at blood play with her and see how ti goes, but I am sure a lot of the urge lies inside of Ayden.

ya that makes sense. ahhh I can't wait to talk on Saturday, we definitely have to go back and work with the three of them!!

Yes. I like the idea of Jakub and Ayden as one... but I miss Jakub being in his body!!

I know!! we need to decide what going to happen with them... I also think that
a) ayden/jakob should talk with Daemon
b) Gwynn will pry tell Sydney soon, she needs someone thats not Dominic to talk to

oooooooo I for sure want Jakub to talk to Daemon in Ayden's body. Will Gwyn ever let Daemon and Lucivar back into the keep?

probably, shes a softy at heart. you should just get on skype or fb so we can chat