Worse than Death

It’s been a while since I’ve come out of a haze, confused and soaked in blood. To find myself suddenly standing in front of Christopher, instantly calm with no lingering aggression was chilling. I would have attributed what happened to a rut, but those still leave me slightly edgy, remnants of the craving for violence on my skin. Dominic told me how I attacked her. I don’t really remember her, just the drive to hurt and the satisfaction of the fear. Christopher can control me at a whim. He owns me in a way none of those bitches ever did. The thought is terrifying. I’ve always been able to resist, to at least fight back and make it difficult for them. This binding is worse than any ring could ever be.

The worst part is that I’m starting to know things about him, to desire what he does. This slavery is able to even invade my thoughts. I feel lost, trapped and hopeless in escaping this new prison. Sydney had a vision… of me covered in blood with everyone dead at my feet. The possibility of that being true was always terrifying enough, but now it could happen and I would be utterly powerless as I became the executioner of people I love. The vision also told her that there was danger for her and Dominic inside Christopher’s dark realm. I’m going to have to find a way to keep them away from me and unable to follow me there. I can feel the draw to be near him, to… serve him. It’s like he has manifested into someone I am powerless to resist. Maybe this is what most men feel, when they discover there queen. For me though, the feeling only insights dread with a helpless longing.

Talking with Lee, I found him likable. Hopefully I can cultivate him as an ally He seems to want to help, but he serves Christopher as well. He may not see it that way, but he protects and serves. It’s interesting to see Lee on the surface and then have glimpses of his inner workings through Christopher. For someone so proud and uninterested in men, he certainly can blush at the littlest things.

I don’t know why I asked to taste his blood. Watching the phantom of Christopher biting him over and over, while Lee writhed in pleasure, sparked a pull within me. The second I felt it on my tongue, had that rich, heady taste roll though my mouth, I knew I was in trouble. Christopher appears to be a man who feels things very deeply and what he feels for Lee… what he feels is very complex, running very deep to his core. How I’ll turn Lee into an ally while trying to avoid doing things to him I have no idea. Maybe this desire for blood will remain only with Lee, but if it grows and merges with my sexual nature… Sydney told me she doesn’t mind sometimes, to have me make the knives dance across her skin, but I’m worried this desire will draw the darkness out of me more. I can’t do that again to her. I think I need to go see Dominic and test out if blood is universally appealing to me. God if not, if not I’ll be spending a lot more time in that dark place called a house.

the plot thickens! I wonder if it is universal? When we talk next we should see if this rings true or not

oh yes I completely agree! Its been a while since we've done something between Dominic and Davar anyways