New Life, New Days

I sit here writing this.. and wonder where the hell my life has gone to. Not in a bad way.. just.. I truly never expected things to turn out this way. I am so in love with Christopher.. in a way.. I feel out love is deeper than that of lovers, of married couple,s of family and friends.. we understand one another. We know our boundaries, we establish communication.

He trusts me enough to let me in after my fucking father ruined him. I want to be there for him, and I am even willing to be used by Davar since the need has arisen. I never considered myself a pushover when it came to being used by men.. I have been evading Stefan for years.. and Davar barges in.. and now I am actually starting to be.. attracted to him. I don't think it is anythign to do with the feeling of Christopher he has at this point.. GOD. I am not going to be a man slut like my SOB father.

Life is still good though.. Christopher has been busy with work lately, so I see Davar a lot more these days, but I enjoy being dare I say it? Wifey. I make dinner, keep house and watch after the kids. Salem is still pretty bad over Serenity being kidnapped, so I have been taking care of him as well.


I do not dislike this life.. and find it comfortable, enjoyable and still full of enough excitement to keep the good old days memories fresh in my mind.

My thoughts now have been turning to future prospects. I want a child with Christopher.. but I am afraid to bring it up. I do not think this environment is a safe one for children.. but with him.. I feel like the two of us could make it work. I just don't think now with the Davar and now Syndey dynamic added in that it would be a good time to bring it up. Sydney.. what can I say? Davar definitely is getting crazed over being with me.. my blood drives him wild he says, even just seeing it excites him.

I am not sure how I feel about what happened between the three of us.. but I am not so young as to feel victimized over something like that. It was obviously helpful for him and the two of them even got hitched. Fuck.. maybe I need to be in more threesomes to help people out. It could be my new job.

Anyways.. should go fix dinner. Chris is on his way home soon. It will help me stay focuses, I get hazy after times with Davar, so need to clear my head up.

wifey HAHAHAHA! We should do more with Lee and Chris although they are rather hooked into the Chinese problem. Them having a child is a really interesting question. Would he maybe talk to Davar about it? I feel like sometimes Davar is able to actually talk with Lee not just bleed him. Man they are such a good couple though. I still can't get over the wifey problem. I kind of feel like Davar and Lee might end up like how Lee and Chris used to be with more blood drinking and sexual overtones. They seem like they can be a good support system for each other and offer insight, especially since Davar can't turn to Dominic as much. Davar really does keep a lot to himself, although nothing crazy like Dominic. So do you think Gwynn is someone he can tolerate seeing yet?

Honestly I think we should consider restarting DOminic....

Lee is totally the one carrying the child FYI

restarting?

I meant making him forget things so Dominic is a little but less of a tortured soul...