05月 13日 2037年

Serenity was taken again from me. It always happens when I am not by her side.. when I am indulging in the lingering desire I have for Roslyn. It tears me apart to think I might have been able to stop it.. or do something more. Looking back, I was content to remain with Roslyn, feeling helpless and wanting comfort.. how much of a bastard does that make me? I was using her for comfort, only knowing I would leave her side the moment Serenity returned. She says it is ok.. but.. I am not sure how long we can both do this before one or both of us breaks. I cannot afford to break now.. Serenity needs me more than ever.

This time was.. different.. she came back shattered in body and spirit.. but emotionally she has caved in. She is terrified of this man and what he does to her.. and what he can make her do. I think there are things she is holding back form me.. but from what I have heard from the other women and their husbands, the Dragon Kings make them feel drawn to them.. maybe a that be-damned link they had is still egging her to want him irregardless of the things he does to her.

I do not begrudge her this.. but knowing Serenity, she is punishing herself and locking herself in her anguish. She was never one to express her feelings well, I think growing up in the last remnants of a family which was separating and dealign with her older sisters antics made her grow up to be fiercely independent to the point of alienating her own needs.


I need to support her, to make her know that I am here for her now.. she has family in me. SHe can trust me, she can be open with me and not lock it up. I do not want to lose her to this monster of a man.. Roslyn will have to be put on the back burner while I take care of Serenity and train.. I need power. I need some way to protect her and heal her. I only hope I can make it in time.

awww he is so good to her. Ya I think salem needs to learn to push with her a little more. Because she is really bad at sharing.