Opening the doors

Everything feels like it has come to a head. My memories have come back, I have committed myself to Roslyn, and I have lived through the discovery new deeper places in my jewel. The last few weeks have been a blur to be honest, I felt like I have not had time to process everything, and this is my fifth attempt at writing anything I can down.

Lavonte was... he was unexpected. He was not a purely evil being he just had a completely different way about looking at the world. I was thrust in his game while still fragile, and played a long as best I could. The one who suffered most in the end was Gwyn.. I can tell that she has some sort of scar on her.. but she does her best to cover it up by just being herself. She told me recently that she would have chosen me if she had not met Jakub when she did. Oh how bittersweet that was. In a way I needed to hear it, I needed validity for these feelings of mine.

Touching her after that revaluation was... extraordinary. It was like I could take my tie to just FEEL her in my arms. Roslyn seems ok with things that happened, which is refreshing. We are both still at an early stage in our relationship, which I think has saved us both a lot of grief.. I only hope I will nto bring pain to her.

Look at me, writing things out of order, this is why I waited.. I was not ready to write.. especially abotu Davar. I let him down.. by letting DOrothea get her hands on him. He suffered for days while I was trapped in my own pain and finding my way. I was not strong enough to help him. I want to use my new found powers to protect him, I know now that he is the most important thing in my life now. if I had to chose someone out of all of my family, loved ones and friends to save, it would always be him with no doubt in my mind. I told him.. and he.. he reacted in a surprising way. To be honest, I feel surprised still to feel that way, but I think this i ss step in the right direction.

awww well dominic should feel guilty about what happened to davar. Also depending on what happens with gwynn and him in the future Dominic may need to talk with Rosalyn more about it. I think if something was going to bother her tho it would more likely be him with davar and that crew as opposed to gwynn...

I would think so too. He seems to be a little more, sexual lately.. or at least more inclined to be open about who he sleeps with. Roslyn and him are together, and did decide to keep it monogamous, so it would bring up conflict if his behavior continues. I think it is partially due to his settling black magic, it is helping him keep a rut at bay for the moment.

but kylee why do we want tokeep a rut at bay?? Oooo would he go after Davar?

I honestly don't know.. it depends on the mood and who he is around maybe. I think Davar is the main choice right now, as far as for who he would go for. Roslyn is someone he likes but he is not possessive of her to that point yet, and Gwyn is complex and still offers a bit of a twinge, so I think Davar would be the likely candidate.

that would be fun and really interesting. I think Davar would really be able to handle it assuming Dominic didn't go into crazy bondage on him

I think it would be ok too. Bondage would only maybe be wrists tied, or holding them, but it is mostly a sexual fire that is building I think.

oooo so kylee how are we going to trigger it? because before or after the baron side thing?

mmm it depends on what happens before. he is like.. a calm pool of water before a storm, once he is set off he will go off for a bit. Baron may trigger more dark bondage urges though.

well I think if that happens davar could probably handle it since its dominic but I'd have to see