January 24th

Its over finally. The nightmare I’d been living in has ended. Everyone survived, for better or worse. I almost managed to kill Shun, to purge myself and the planet of his filth. He escaped by a margin and only because of this cursed bond between us. His wounds weakened me enough that I was prevented from finishing the kill. God I feel like I traded one nightmare for another. I have his spawn growing inside of me, I can feel the very essence of it.

God I don’t know how Salem can bear the sight of me and be so willing to accept this-this thing growing inside of me. I just want to cut it out of me, I want no part of him, none! I will not be a good mother, I never even wanted children. Only for Salem would I have considered it. Shun is using me and twisting me to his own will even now. I can feel a part of myself care about the child, to want to protect it! I’m being betrayed by a deeper part of myself. Even now I’m trapped by the threat he holds over my head. I can’t bear to let something happen to Salem.

I don’t know what to do about this child, it should be destroyed. Perhaps… since he has forced me to carry this child I will, to protect Salem, but it will die before its first breath once its born.

God she hates him... It will be interesting to see how things turn out.

yes I don't know that she'll actually end up killing the baby but she might. Shes all over the place but she really, REALLY hates him. Part of it is that she holds onto the hate tighter cause of the underlying pull from the soulmate bond