Shedding my Skin

Many changes have happened since Jakub's death. I feel farther away from Gwyn, incapable of helping her because of the selfish things I feel and desire from her. It is now more than ever that I have to force myself away from what I want and focus on what she needs.. even if I hate it.. even if it comes in the package of a young boy who enjoys bleeding her and who makes her enjoy bleeding. We fought recently.. and thankfully found a common ground again, but everything feels different now.

I don't think she will ever come to me again, or let me come to her. It will hurt her too much.

I have enough on my mind to deal with besides Gwyn, so I have been trying to focus on these things. Tessa. Tessa. What can I say about her? She is hilarious, and easy going. She would fit into the realms perfectly, but I don't want her to be pushed into my harsh lifestyle. I can honestly say i am surprised at Mikel's choice. I never thought I would be attracted to a woman in a deeper way outside of a sexual need. She IS gorgeous,no lie. But, I want to see her to talk to her.. to just touch her.. to feel like she needs and likes me.

I may not be ready to jump into any type of relationship, but I feel that she and I will be connected for a long time to come. I just hope my shadowy past doesn't come out to haunt her. I hope she can truly accept me as the man I am..

hahah he is so Daemon's son!! I definitely think as we focus on the Chinese Tessa and Dominic need to stay in the mix. I want to make sure I use her enough that shes solidly formed.

Poor Dominic. I think its ultimetly good for him to have her pull away. In the end it should help