I'll be seeing you

It’s so strange to have Jakob gone. I feel I don’t know how to properly grieve for him. I’m glad that he’s found a way back, even though it’s not really him at all. I can’t bring myself to really push Aidyn the way I would have pushed Jakob. He just doesn’t understand. The drive is still in him, that I can easily see but he lacks the deeper understanding of what pushes him forward. And he doesn’t understand our family’s history. I’m glad for Gwynn, that he’s able to provide her support and a form of relief.

Still it’s not the same without Jakob, my one and only son. Even though his entrance into existence was unplanned, I loved my son. And he did what no child should do for a parent, he sacrificed himself. Once I’d sent Lucian away he wouldn’t listen and leave too. Instead he stayed. There was joy in seeing the others that came to stand with us, came to stand with him. I don’t kid myself thinking they were there for me. Gwynn, soft and glowing, even in anger the love for him still shone through her pores. Cerdian, Jakob’s best friend, setting his differences with Dominic aside to stand and fight. Dominic and Davar were not surprising either; they just further demonstrate the power love has.

Ah Jakob you shouldn’t have done what you did. I’ll always appreciate it but you weren’t meant for self-sacrifice. You were meant to live and have what I never managed, a life. A life with a woman who loved you without reservation, and not being driven to destroy that which you hold most dear. Son I would have stopped you if I’d realized. Makes me even more proud of you to know you out foxed me. Still I have resources you don’t know about, I would have likely fared better at having a chance to find my way back here.

I have always loved you Jakob. And I will protect what was most precious to you until you can do it yourself. Gwynn lies safely within the cradle of this family and nothing will touch her there. I must move slowly given the recent events, but I will get you back Jakob, I promise you that.