Unexpected Consequences

Where to even start...? For once I am really at a semi loss as to why the fuck I am going to be writing about this.. but in a deep part of me it makes sense. CERIDEN. He has been my friend for as long as I can remember.. when everyone shunned me for being born, he looked past the bull shit to the person I was.

I was not born out of love, nor do I exist in a family of love. I was used to make Stefan hurt. I am used for amusement. My family uses each other at leisure to get their way. And yet.. to Ceriden I have always just been Jakub. Plain and simple. Nothing extra. No fucking drama. Just Jakub.

I knew things were going to be bad for him when I saw him after Dominic got to him. He had always been homophobic.. as to why? I am not really sure. Maybe it was Soren and his set the fucking house on fire with his gayness attitude. Or he just had this idea that Eryien men didnt fuck men. It doesnt matter though, since in the end.. he was violated. And he hasnt recovered from that.

Soren helps.. but only so much. The man has no idea how to deal with his dark urges.. and eventually he lets them out without controlling them, causing more harm than good.
Enter: ME.

I dont feel attracted to Ceriden really. I mean, if I had a say in the matter besides my father and Lucien being so persistent, I would say I am straight. But the King in me..that dark part of me is drawn to his obedience, his weakness, his leanings to be submissive and attentive. And GOD DAMMIT his mouth. Why is he so fucking good at blow jobs? If I wasnt so in love with Gwynn, I would have so gone bi for that type of blow job every night.

It doesnt feel strange at all, to have crossed this line of physical intimacy with him. I dont think it has anything to do with who I am either. I just feel like we are always going to be friends. Hell.. I could fuck him and we would still be friends. There is this deep desire I have to protect him, and to help him get stronger. I want him to overcome the shit that happened to him, and to stand on his own two feet proud like I know he can be.

I dont know what Gwynn will think if this goes further with us. She seems more low key about it now.. though I think her guilt over Dominic is coming into play a bit.

I will fight for him until the end. Ceriden deserves it. He didnt have anyone in his time of greatest need.. just as I have lacked someone. Gwynn made things fall into place.. until Ceriden can be the man who can seek out his own destiny.. I will weave my webs to protect him. I will guide him with a firm hand and I will not let Soren pull this bull shit mightier than thou dark magic crap to ruin his progress.

Those two both need a bit of fixing.

I only hope Ceriden can find his way. But no matter what. I know I will always be there.. no matter what.