Lets make a movie

It was surprising to see Andrea. Actually that’s an understatement. I was shocked to see her, not only because I thought if I ever did see her again it would be through Lee and I would have some warning, but also because she’s in the military. I’m looking forward to this new movie even more now. Its such an opportunity to drive Andrea crazy and keep tabs on her. I’m definitely going to look into getting her assignment to me expanded. For once I’m going to be in the position of power.

She frustrates me more than she should. I feel as if I revert to myself of six or seven years ago. I just want to push and push. Lee’s right to say it’s dangerous, since he won’t be there to help rein me in and Andrea doesn’t know when to stop. She would have never survived without Lee. Thankfully I think I have a viable solution to help me keep my word, if I lose my perspective and go after her…

I can’t believe he didn’t tell me she’s the one that left. What a bitch. She’s always wanted things to go just her way. And Lee is still in love with her, they both are. It’s a tragic story. Part of me wants to help draw them back together. For all that I don’t like her, Andrea made several valid points. She has been good for Lee in a lot of ways in the past, it just seems like if she’s not willing to reconcile, he needs to move on and grow past her. It is sad though, Lee managed what I never did, a happy family life. Well at least before I royally fucked it up with Lily…

That’s the more dangerous topic between Andrea and I. She hates me for loving Lily so young, and for being the negative influence that made her leave home. Which I find painfully ironic, since I hate myself for that too. Still it’s not a subject I’m going to listen to Andrea preach about from her high horse. And if Andrea hadn’t been so opposed Lily might have found the escape she needed at home. She might have stayed safe if Andrea had just been there for her!

Part of me was glad to hear Lee say it is over. I do need him right now, and I don’t want to give him back to her. The childish and primal part of me revels that not only did I win her daughter from her, I also won Lee. Still I want him to be happy, I want the people I love to find happiness even if I can’t find my own. Salem and Serenity are a good example. They are going to be happy and good together. At least Andrea has agreed to not hold being my son against Salem.

I do hope, if this movie comes about like that rest, that Andrea joins us on the trip. It would do me good to fully vent my frustrations guilt free. Somehow I suspect her blood would have a taste of victory in it…