Heart Strings

These past few days have been difficult for me. Christopher has been wonderful, in no way is he related to the feelings lingering about me which have brought me down slightly. But, there is a new man in the picture: Davar. I had almost forgotten about him being the demon of Chris, and he has literally become an extension of him. I hated myself for moaning and shivering under his touch.. the fact that an unknown man biting me like that could bring me close tot he edge... I hate that. It is not just that he is a stranger, but he feels like Chris sometimes..except more primal and dangerous. I know Chris.. but I don't know Davar. The fat that I can't read him is what is scary tome.

I also saw her again. Not.. not of my own choice.. but she treated me just as she always had, even though we are divorced and I know she knows I am in a deeper relationship with Chris. It was frightening and overwhelming to see how calm she was when she was treating me. It was all I could do to not say a word to her and just leave her there. I know it hurt her, but I just didn't know how to react. It felt like love was still in her touch, and I had to push that away.. even if it meant hurting her. I still love her, and I always will.. but we are not meant for one another.. not like Chris and I are.

I wonder what will happen next...as long as I have Chris.. I know I will be ok.